Think outside the box

In addition to becoming knowledgable about treatments, I thought I had better do some additional preparations as well. If the worst case scenario is chemotherapy, then I should be prepared to do chemotherapy, even if by some strange chance I do not have to. Again, I would rather be prepared for the worst.

Thus, I started presenting myself with the idea of one day soon becoming bald--having no hair, no eyebrows, and no eyelashes. This idea made me absolutely WEAK. About 90% of my 25 years of life were spent with long (at least past the shoulders) hair--it had become a part of my identity. I never before realized this (likely because I had never had to consider it previously). When considering all the crazy things that may happen to me during chemotherapy, losing my hair became a big one. I tried and tried to picture it, but I just couldn't. This may be something I have to deal with when the time comes. One thing I certainly could do, however, was to at least ease the pain associated with losing my hair. Thus, I decided to start looking for wigs.

I went on the internet and checked out some places that specialize in wigs made of human hair--and I was SHOCKED. These wigs were absolutely beautiful. They came in every length, colour, cut, and style you could imagine. And the amazing thing is that you can have them cut by a hair dresser and can curl, straighten, or style them as you wish, using whichever products you wish. Wow! This will make things much easier. I looked through the wigs for hours fondling with the idea of having black or red hair, bangs, or a completely different style. I decided I may as well have fun with this-- I could choose to look at it as a curse, or I could choose to look at it as a chance to experiment with my looks and have fun until my hair grows back. One thing that my experience with cancer has taught me is to think outside the box and start viewing things in different ways. Eventually my internet surfing for wigs landed me at Ebay, where I found 100s of them for approx. $100 US. This would be worth my sanity ... and I considered getting a few just for fun. (Click here to see an example of a human hair wig)

I had also learned that the hospital had what is called a "Wig Bank," which uses donations (i believe through the cancer society) to provide cancer patients with a free wig if they do not have medical insurance. I decided that I would make an appointment and go in to see what they had for me. When the day arrived to go in for the appointment, nervousness struck. I was about to take a big step and to face a part of this gruelling process. I took a big gulp and made my way into the cancer centre, where the wig bank is located. I wasn't at all familiar with this section of the hospital--which, I should mention, is its own seperate wing with its own entrance. I pranced through the doors that read "Cancer Treatment" and walked down a short hallway where I noticed some ladies seated behind a desk. They looked at me and asked: "Can I help you?" (as if I wasn't welcome in this part of the hospital). I said: "I am looking for the wig bank." She looked at me with a confused face: "Well ... are you a cancer patient or...?" This question was asked with the expectation that the answer would be 'no.' I said nothing but "yes" and let her wallow in her shock. She looked 'caught off guard' and told me to wait a moment while she got the lady who volunteers in the wig bank.

I was soon met by Mary, a hairdresser who volunteers to help patients choose wigs that are suitable to them. Mary escorted me to the wig bank, where at least 50-60 wigs lined a long table. She let me know that it was uncommon for them to get long blonde wigs in, due to the low demand for them. The closest thing she had to my originial hair was a shoulder-length blonde wig with bangs. Before we tried this one, we experimented with some other colours and styles--none of which I admired. They all looked quite "wiggish" on me and were not made of the natural human hair like the ones I found online. Eventually, however, we tried the short blonde one and were pleasantly surprised. It suited me very much and looked like a healthier, shorter, and slightly darker version of my own hair. I could definitely see myself wearing this one. I decided that I would take this one and also order just one online for variety (and to keep up with the 'fun' side of things).

I informed Mary that I hadn't yet met with Dr. MacCormick and wasn't even entirely sure that I would undergo chemo, but I just wanted to be on the safe side and have everything prepared. She and one of the nurses decided that because they have few blonde wigs and because this one suited me so much, they would hold the wig at the centre for me until I met with the oncologist.