Here are some pictures from Easter Weekend:
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Update on Hairgrowth
It is now 10 weeks post-chemo and my is now coated in an even array of dark blonde, soft hair, about a half an inch long. I am very pleased with the progress--every morning when I wake up I go to the mirror to see the changes and every day the growth is noticeable. My friend visited yesterday after not having seen me in about two weeks and she was awestuck at how much it had grown in that short amount of time. My mother even noticed after not seeing me for three days! The rest of my body hair has also grown in, although I could have went without shaving for another little while! My eyelashes and eyebrows never did fall out, although they did seem somewhat thin for a couple of week following my final treatment.
Here are some pictures from Easter Weekend:
Here are some pictures from Easter Weekend:
On Coming In From The Dark ...
It's funny how life goes. I can remember the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The prevailing thought in my mind was: How could I have been so stupid to worry about the petty things I used to worry about? If only I could go back to the days when my major worries were getting good grades, paying the bills, traffic jams, petty arguments, and being late... Suddenly I was posed with a much more massive load of issues to deal with--Will I be dead before I'm 30? Will I ever be able to have children? Will I be able to deal with the mental weight of a cancer diagnoses and the physical strain of its treatment? I remember thinking that I would never again allow life's minor inconveniences to trouble me. I would care about nothing but being alive and being happy.
Six months came and went. I was finished of all my treatments and was finally given a second chance to live my life to the fullest without being sick. Did I do that? Unfortunately, no. As you may have noticed from many of my posts from March, my attitude began to transform from positive and optimistic to rather negative and self-loathing. Instead of feeling fortunate to be alive and to have made my way through one of the most horrible experiences of a lifetime, I began to focus on the negatives: my lack of hair holding me back from teaching and socializing, my compromised physical strength holding me back from being as active as I would like, the resentment I felt towards some of my friends, and the sense of confusion and defeat caused by the apparent ignorance of the complete strangers who took it upon themselves to judge me.
Suddenly I found myself entwined in the same chaos from which I had managed to liberate myself from upon my diagnosis of breast cancer. All the little things in life that manage to get us down, that seem to pile up and become a mound of stress and affliction, began to overcome me once again, as it always had in the past. One day I began to wallow in my own self-pity: I have such bad luck. I must be cursed. Why is all this happening to me? Can't anything in my life go right? I cried. I freeked. I went to my parents and repeated all of my thoughts as tears streamed down my face.
My father could only shake his head in disbelief. He said: "Melanie. I know some things aren't working out the way you would like, but just look at yourself. You need to calm down. Melanie, you just survived cancer. That is one of the biggest things you could ever overcome, and here you are getting this upset over little petty things?" At that moment, I walked out of the dark.
Light bulb moments. I love those. At the very instant that my father said those words, it was as though I had awoken from a dream. How could I be so ungrateful? How could I allow little things like these bother me when I had just gone through all that I had? The day of my diagnosis rushed back to me and I remembered all the things I said to myself. I said that I would focus on living and being happy, rather than allowing all life's minor inconveniences trouble me. I had begun to abandon all of that. But it did not take long for my thoughts to change.
From that moment on, I have been able to enjoy my life tenfold, along with all its little "twists, turns, bumps, and bridges." Because of my father's simple but wise words, I have been able to regain my former sense of positivity and optimism. I try to see every day as a blessing. I attempt to do the things that make me happy everyday. I make an effort to see the big picture and to put all of life's little troubles into perspective. Rather than worrying what people think or say about my hair, for instance, I now feel happy that my hair is growing back as quickly and as healthy as it is, I am thankful that I can pull off the short hair look, and I feel grateful that I can go out into public places at all (after being practically house-ridden on chemo). I feel that taking things into perspective and reevaluating life as such has diminished my stress levels tremendously, and I think that this is an integral part of the healing process (and an integral part of maintaining health and wellness).
Thanks, Dad :-)
"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." -Groucho Marx
Six months came and went. I was finished of all my treatments and was finally given a second chance to live my life to the fullest without being sick. Did I do that? Unfortunately, no. As you may have noticed from many of my posts from March, my attitude began to transform from positive and optimistic to rather negative and self-loathing. Instead of feeling fortunate to be alive and to have made my way through one of the most horrible experiences of a lifetime, I began to focus on the negatives: my lack of hair holding me back from teaching and socializing, my compromised physical strength holding me back from being as active as I would like, the resentment I felt towards some of my friends, and the sense of confusion and defeat caused by the apparent ignorance of the complete strangers who took it upon themselves to judge me.
Suddenly I found myself entwined in the same chaos from which I had managed to liberate myself from upon my diagnosis of breast cancer. All the little things in life that manage to get us down, that seem to pile up and become a mound of stress and affliction, began to overcome me once again, as it always had in the past. One day I began to wallow in my own self-pity: I have such bad luck. I must be cursed. Why is all this happening to me? Can't anything in my life go right? I cried. I freeked. I went to my parents and repeated all of my thoughts as tears streamed down my face.
My father could only shake his head in disbelief. He said: "Melanie. I know some things aren't working out the way you would like, but just look at yourself. You need to calm down. Melanie, you just survived cancer. That is one of the biggest things you could ever overcome, and here you are getting this upset over little petty things?" At that moment, I walked out of the dark.
Light bulb moments. I love those. At the very instant that my father said those words, it was as though I had awoken from a dream. How could I be so ungrateful? How could I allow little things like these bother me when I had just gone through all that I had? The day of my diagnosis rushed back to me and I remembered all the things I said to myself. I said that I would focus on living and being happy, rather than allowing all life's minor inconveniences trouble me. I had begun to abandon all of that. But it did not take long for my thoughts to change.
From that moment on, I have been able to enjoy my life tenfold, along with all its little "twists, turns, bumps, and bridges." Because of my father's simple but wise words, I have been able to regain my former sense of positivity and optimism. I try to see every day as a blessing. I attempt to do the things that make me happy everyday. I make an effort to see the big picture and to put all of life's little troubles into perspective. Rather than worrying what people think or say about my hair, for instance, I now feel happy that my hair is growing back as quickly and as healthy as it is, I am thankful that I can pull off the short hair look, and I feel grateful that I can go out into public places at all (after being practically house-ridden on chemo). I feel that taking things into perspective and reevaluating life as such has diminished my stress levels tremendously, and I think that this is an integral part of the healing process (and an integral part of maintaining health and wellness).
Thanks, Dad :-)
"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." -Groucho Marx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
