A reason to celebrate

Wednesday, October 6th (6 days after I arrived home) was an eventful day. First of all, I went to the hairdresser to get my hair cut and dyed. I figured I would probably have another month or so left before I would start treatment and, according to Dr.Butler, this would likely be chemotherapy. As most of you probably know, one of the side effects of this potent poison is hairloss. So, preparing for the worst, I went to the hairdresser and paid a nice chunk of money to get my hair all done for what could be the last time in a long time.

Going to the hairdresser was actually a little nerve wracking for me. It was taking some getting used to for me to be out in the public eye where I knew everyone was talking about me. I knew I would go in there and people would be uncomfortable and I would have to go through my story once again. However, I took a big breath, stood tall, and walked proudly into the hairdresser as if nothing had happened. The girls at the shop took the same approach-- smiled at me (although I knew they were nervous) and made small talk. As soon as I sat in the chair I decided to let everything out in the open -- being fake is not any desire of mine. When the hairdresser asked how I was, I answered: "I'm doing awesome. I just got out of the hospital ..." From there our conversation took off. I tried my best to make them feel comfortable and realized that it wouldn't be as hard to face the public as I thought.

Half way through what grew to be an intense conversation about everything I went through, another client came in and caught wind of what we were talking about. She seemed inquisitive, so my hairdresser said: "Melanie has breast cancer and just had a mastectomy." The lady replied ... "Ohhh ... are you the young one that was over in Asia teaching and had to come back?" How in the world does she know this? I replied that I was and asked her how she knew me. "Oh ...I don't know you, just heard it through the grapevine." I was sort of shocked at the extent of people who knew every detail about my situation when I had only arrived back in Canada two weeks earlier ... but then I reminded myself I was in Cape Breton. There are no secrets here. I asked: "Do THIS many people really know about me?" And the lady replied that yes, everyone knew the story, but not everyone knew exactly who the "she" was that they were talking about. She then went on to tell me that she had cancer of the bladder at age 22, which came back twice. But now, close to 10 years later, she was sitting in the room pregnant and feeling fine. She also told me that her younger sister had breast cancer when she was 24, and was diagnosed WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT. I couldn't begin to imagine what her sister must have gone through. But she said its been over five years and her sister was also fine, as was her baby. This gave me a great deal of hope. I loved to hear about others who had cancer and were able to beat it and go on with their lives. I left the hairdresser that day feeling even more empowered than before.

When I arrived home from my appointment, my father (who is hyper on normal days) was in the driveway frantically waving, as if his heart would stop if I did not stop the car and get out immediately. When I got out, he said "QUICK! The doctor just called you and said she had some news for you!" Okay Okay. I went into the house and called the doctor immediately. She was not in. But, her secretary told me that the doctor urgently wanted to talk to me, so she would page her at the hospital. I hung up the phone, wondering what could be so urgent. I was waiting for the results of the lymph node biopsy to come back, but these weren't expected to arrive for another couple of weeks. My heart raced. Thoughts rushed through my mind. Then, the phone rang. Within 10 minutes the doctor was calling from her cell phone: "Melanie. I just got some reports back from a pathologist about your sentinal node biopsy. The tests were rushed and they were able to fax the results in to me today. We have some very good news for you ... the 2 sentinal nodes as well as all 10 surrounding axillary lymph nodes were negative for malignancy!" She was very excited and told me they were at the office all morning waiting for me to call back so they could give me the news.

A wave of happiness came over me as I told my father, who anxiously awaited the news. There was something funny about it, though. Just as I had a feeling that something wasn't right a month earlier when I was waiting for the biopsy results in Korea, I had a feeling all week that I was going to be fine. Something deep down within me told me not to worry-- I had a "funny feeling" that the lymph nodes would be clear. Intuition? Maybe. Or maybe just the newfound sense of positivity I had gained from my "armour." Nonetheless, I was more excited than you can probably imagine about getting this news. This said ALOT about my prognosis. Basically, the lymph nodes determine to a large extent whether any spreading has occured. If absolutely no lymph nodes are infected (as was my case) than the chances of cancer having slipped into another area of the body are slim. There is a slight chance that some microscopic cells may have slipped out and gone unnoticed-- afterall, cancer is an unpredictable disease. But, as far as invasive cancer goes, this was the best case scenario possible.
That night, as you can well imagine, some serious celebrating was in order ...

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes." --Mahatma Ghandi