The phonecall

Exactly four weeks had passed since I had the operation when, finally, I got a phonecall from the cancer centre at the CBR hospital. The secretary informed me that I was to meet with Dr. MacCormick on Wednesday, October 24th at 10:30 a.m. My stomach felt like it leaped to my throat ... the moment I had been wanting but dreading for almost a month now had finally arrived. I quickly called all my closest family and friends and told them about the appointment.

Over the weekend, I was haunted by the unknown--what will happen at this meeting? Will I need chemo? radiation? I wonder what the rest of the pathology resports will reveal? I wonder what Dr. McC will be like? And so on and so on ...

I decided that the best thing I could do at this point is prepare. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. I did more readings specifically on cancer treatments so that I would know what the doctor was speaking about, and so I could ask informed questions and make informed choices. I made a list of questions I wanted to ask so I wouldn't forget anything important. And ... I spoke with myself and those important to me about all the possible avenues for treatment and tried to come to grips with each and every one. I know I could never prepare myself fully for the crazy cancer treatments--I realize that you cannot fully understand the extent of something like chemotherapy until you experience it for yourself. However, I presented myself with the ideas of each and every treatment, learned about them so there would be no surprises, and took the first step in preparing myself-- which was being prepared for the meeting with the doctor and what he may suggest for me.