Chemotherapy is NOT for Wusses

When I arrived home Friday afternoon I was feeling fine, aside from some mild drowsiness brought on by the anti-nausea medication and the Benadryl. I got my prescriptions filled at the pharmacy for nausea-- Zolfran and Stemitil. They seemed to be working from what I could tell. I had a relaxed night just to be on the safe side, and Mike and I just watched movies and cuddled up for the evening.

Saturday afternoon was just about the same and I was becoming surprised-- am I ever going to feel the effects of this? I told my family that if this was what chemo is like, than I will do fine with it-- piece of cake. My father and I went for a long walk through the woods with our dog and I actually felt like turning it into a run, which goes to show how much energy I had. I ate all my meals all day without a problem and was able to do most normal things.

When Saturday evening hit, however, things would change. Later in the afternoon, I began having faint feelings of nausea that were sort of lingering in the background. I ignored them, but they eventually became worse. I had a big feed of spaghetti and meatballs, which I requested from my mother for dinner, and Mike and I headed out to get tea at Tim's afterwards. What was to happen was not a pretty sight. As we were driving down the street I was overcome with an overwhleming sensation of nausea. It was like the faint nausea I was feeling throughout the day had suddenly multiplied itself by 100. "Pull over!" I said. Mike pulled into a parking lot and I began throwing up heavily all over the ground. He quickly got me back home and I knew that I was now in for it. The feeling was exactly like this: you have just drank WAY too much alcohol and are throwing up violently. The only difference is that when you throw up, the nausea dosn't go away. It lingers and lingers, making you feel absolutely horrible.
That evening I vomited three times and wound up with a massive headache, which I blame the anti-emetics (anti-nausea) medication for. My mom stayed with me in my bed all night as I tossed and turned and remained in and out of sleep until the morning.

Sunday I felt relatively the same--I was nauseated all day but didn't throw up. I felt as though I had gone through war the previous night so it was now time to recouperate. For the most part, I remained in bed not only for recovery purposes, but because I feared that if I stood up, I may throw up. Laying down seemed to ease the nausea for short periods of time. We decided that the spaghetti dinner may not have helped the nausea, after reading that I should avoid spicy, sweet, and greasy foods to cut down on nausea. So we are now blaming the food I ate in part for causing my violent illness. Sunday, my Mom made me homemade turkey soup--we figured this may be better tolerated and would give me the fluids my body needed.

I remember all weekend imagining myself going through this for the next few months and the thought alone made me sick to my stomach. How will I ever get through this? I would need to discuss alternatives to the anti-nausea medication that was currently prescribed to me with Dr. MacCormick. There was no way I could go on feeling as miserable as I had this weekend. On the bright side, I read some people's stories about taking "AC" chemo meds and found out that the nausea usually only lasts up to 5 days after each treatment in most people. So I gained hope that I would possibly be getting over this soon. I also decided to be proactive and start eating foods that are easy on the stomach and generally well tolerated-- foods that are rich, spicy, or greasy would have to go for a while and lighter more bland foods would have to take their places. I also decided to eat smaller meals throughout the day and continue to keep myself as hydrated as possible. I am very worried that if I continue to vomit, I will lose much needed weight. I am 114 lbs and 5'8ish now, so any thinner could not possibly be healthy.

Through all this, I continue to remember a chapter title in Dr. Marla Shapiro's Book "Life in the Balance: My Journey with Breast Cancer." The chapter is entitled 'Chemotherapy is not for Wusses." Now I understand exactly what she means.