Don't be a pushover!

The battle began that week. Everything happened so fast! Monday (Sept. 11) I visited my family doctor (who was shocked because 2 weeks before I went to Korea I had a breast exam done by her and the lump was not there, or not noticed). She talked with me and referred me on to a surgeon, Dr. Butler.

Wednesday (Sept. 13) was the scheduled appointment with Dr.Butler. I was extremely nervous to see him because he had looked over my reports from Korea and was the one who would hold the responsibilty of giving me the details of my disease and various options for localized treatment (surgery). My mother, Mike, and I went to the office to discover that Dr. Butler had been called into the O.R. for an emergency, so we had to wait an extra hour in his office. This felt like an eternity and as every minute passed my heart gradually pounded a little harder, a little faster. I clinged on to Mike. I fiddled. I looked around the office. There were about 5 or 6 chairs filled ... every single person waiting to see him was over 60. Not Fair, is all I could think.

Soon I heard my name being called. We went in and were met by the doctor, who began to look over the report and fill me in with some details. EVerything that came out of his mouth was like a blow to my heart. Everything started to become real. I asked questions, but all the answers seemed to be too much for me to handle. He was talking about hormone therapy, chemotherapy, surgeries, spreading, staging ... it was all overwhelming to say the least. Half way through the meeting I began to sob. There was complete silence in the room for about 4 or 5 minutes, as everyone (the nurse, doctor, and my mom) all stared at me with sympathetic eyes.

I noticed that the doctor looked sort of nervous. Maybe it was just me, but he appeared to have struggled with the whole situation. If he had given me too much information I blamed it on this. He told me he had never treated someone my age for cancer. The youngest had been late 20's/early 30s. So I could understand what he may have been going through.

The overall outcome of the appointment was that Dr.Butler did not want to rely on the test results from a foreign country where he didn't know the pathologist. They wanted their own results here in Canada, and a second opinion could never hurt me. He said because of my age he wanted to be 100% sure that the diagnosis was correct. So, he gave me 2 options: 1) Get another core needle biopsy done (ahhh!); or 2) Get the lump removed to be tested. This was one of the easiest decisions I ever made: Take the lump out!!! I wanted this out of me more than I have ever wanted anything before. So ... he scheduled an appointment for me for Friday, Sept. 22nd. Another week and a half??? I can't bear to wait that long, feeling around and wondering how fast this cancer is spreading. I sobbed again (I know ... I'm a wimp). I said "Isn't there anything earlier than this?" He and the nurse conversed quickly and he said "We can do you next Wednesday. It can't be any earlier because you need to first have a mammogram so that we can map out the tumor for the surgery and make sure there are no other lumps in this breast or the other breast. The earliest mammogram appointment we can get is Monday." So ... this was the best they could do. I accepted, although I thought I couldn't bear to go around for another week knowing that a cancerous tumor was erupting in my breast.

We all went back to my house, where my grandmother, uncle, and father were waiting to hear what the doctor said. It turned into a heated, loud argument, surprisingly. Mom and I had different accounts of what happened in the office, which got all of us frusturated. Soon ... our conversation was interrupted by a phonecall. It was the hospital calling to confirm the mammogram apt. for Monday. The nurse said: "Your mammogram is scheduled for Monday, Septem ... ah actually ... we have an opening here for tomorrow at noon if you could come in then." A miracle?????? I said "Yes!" and immediately called Dr.Butler's office. I told his secretary that I was able to get an appointment for tomorrow (Thursday) for the mammogram and was wondering if Dr.Butler could fit me in for my surgery a little earlier because of this. She told me to wait and then came back saying ...

Yes! You will have the mammogram done tomorrow and then we will fit you in Friday (2 days later) during Dr. Butler's OR time to do the lumpectomy.

EVerything was starting to fall into place. Getting home on Monday, seeing the family doctor, then the surgeon, having a mammogram, and then a lumpectomy surgery done all in one week? That is unheard of around here. This is where my second piece of advise comes in --

When it comes to your health and especially the gut feelings you have about it ... don't be a pushover! Take control of your own situation. Be insistent. Be proactive. And when you find out what the test results of my lumpectomy were, you will realize that it was a good thing that I pushed the doctor to get me in early.