Areum Women's Hospital

The next day, I went to work in the morning with hopes that Jay-eun had found me an English-speaking doctor. I guess she had not taken my request seriously-- she hadn't gotten around to phoning any doctors yet. I told her that my situation was quite urgent and that I would like to see a doctor TODAY (at this point I hadn't told anyone why because I didn't want to startle anyone). About an hour later, Jay informed me that she had found a doctor, but the doctor could only speak very little English. I agreed to go to this doctor, feeling desperate and just really wanting to know what was going on with my breast.

Jay escorted Mike and I to a "Women's Hospital," where this doctor was to see me. Unlike in Canada, in Korea doctors see you immediately and all procedures are done extremely quick. This is because healthcare is not free and Koreans love money. I didn't care about the money at this point. I arrived at the hospital and no more than 2 minutes later the doctor saw me. She apologized in advance for not being able to speak good English. By this time I learned to speak very slow and simple and to use lots of sign language. She was immediately able to understand that I found a mass in my left breast. She felt it and told me she would like to do an ultrasound of the breast. I was taken into a room, where she then began to perform the ultrasound.

I remember looking at her face and trying to read what she was thinking. There was no expression. After about 10 minutes of snapping pictures of the inside of my breast, she began trying (and I stress trying) to explain to me what she had seen. Basically, all I could take from her explanation were the phrases she continued to repeat: "I suspect maligant ... the shape ... you are young woman ... maybe a benign infected mass ... but i suspect maligant." My heart stopped. It felt like the world stopped ... like my whole world was ending. I remember looking at the ceiling and feeling numb. I couldn't think of anything.

The doctor said she needed to do a tissue biopsy right away to test for malignancy. I didn't knwo what I was in for. I had no time to prepare. Normally in Canada the ultrasound appointment would take at least a week and the biopsy would then come at least another week later. I had no time to prepare. I had no one to explain to me what a biopsy was. I really thought I would go in there and she would tell me it was nothing. But not so. All I could see was little Korean nurses running around the room getting everything ready. Another 5 minutes later the doctor was coming at me with a needle that looked the size of a screw driver. Ahhhhhhhhhh! I had never had a needle before (besides for bloodwork or at the dentist). I was unexperienced with this! She first froze the breast and then proceeded to stick this massive needle into the side of my nipple, through the breast, and into the tumor, all while she watched it on the ultrasound machine. I yelped. She said "No look and no hurt!" I turned my head. Then she said: "You will hear loud noise ... no move!" Then, from inside my breast I heard an extremely loud clap-like sound, at which point she pulled the needle out. The needle was full of tissue and blood and the nurses went running with it. I began to cry. Then sob. Then sob hysterically. I felt lost. She continued to do this three more times.

When it was all over, the nurses consoled me. I cried like a baby. I felt like my life was over. I got dressed and went out to the waiting room where the doctor was telling Mike about my situation. He later told me that he had seen me upset in the past, but had never seen me like that. He said I looked literally distraught, white as a ghost, and as if I was going to collapse.I felt like this too. I had just been through the worst hell of my entire life. After paying 80000 Won (80 USD), she told us to come back the next Wednesday for the results.

One week? How will I ever get through one week of waiting, wondering, obsessing?