"I have learned to use the word impossible with the greatest caution." ~Wernher von Braun

In terms of my present health, I have been feeling great for the most part. I continue to take 20 mg of Tamoxifen daily, which is the hormonal therapy drug I will be taking for 5 years. I have been fortunate enough not to have the most common side-effect, which is hot flashes, so I am thankful for that. However, I have been experiencing crazy periods--complete with cramps and irregularity. But, for me, the benefits outweigh the unfortunate sife-effects. What worries me the most about Tamoxifen is the possible long-term effect of uterine cancer. I received my first uterine ultrasound a few weeks ago and everything came back normal, so let's just hope that this continues to be the case!

On the psychological side of things, I feel much happier. I look back to last summer and realize that I was an emotional mess. I had so many things going on. Regaining control of my life proved to be a tremendous task, full of uncertainty, fear, guilt, stress, resentfulness, and self-pity. I think that at that point I had allowed cancer to claim my life and to take control over me. I feel grateful that I was able to pull myself out of that dark time and reclaim the life that is MINE.

I would be lying, however, if I said that this disease has no bearing on me. I worry frequently about my health-I still wonder whether this or that could be cancer or whether I will have a recurrence. I feel a great deal of guilt if I don't eat well or if I miss exercising a few days in a row. I am constantly wondering whether I am doing all that I can to prevent myself from getting cancer again. And, sometimes I feel overwhelmed and helpless in my attempts to do all that I can to be healthy.

I have come to learn that the cancer journey is not only a long one, but an endless one--it will be a part of me for as long as I live. This I cannot control. I can control, however, the way I choose to view it and the role I will allow it to play in my life.

"The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak, became a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong." ~Thomas Carlyle